I love weddings. I love everything about them— or so I thought. Growing up, I didn’t dream of a princess “fairy-tale” wedding. I DID, however, dream of Grace Kelly’s long lace sleeves, a passionate kiss like Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio and a big band playing in the background. yeah. I think I was born in the wrong era too.
With weddings come wedding bliss. But what happens if the big day seems more like a wedded miss? Don’t get me wrong– I absolutely adore my future husband and cannot wait to go through the arduous paperwork of changing my name and bearing his next to mine for all of eternity. And no, this isn’t a “poor-me-I-have-to-plan-my-dream-wedding-boo-hoo” message. After months of getting more and more frustrated with the whole wedding hoop-lah and after not one, two, or three different times of me begging Robbie to call off the wedding in favor of an elopement did I realize, Girl! You need an attitude adjustment!
Multiple times in my life I can remember my dad saying, “Deep breath bud. Take it one step at a time.” Maybe I haven’t looked forward to the wedding (I said wedding, not marriage) because he won’t be there. Maybe I’ve been overloading myself with wedding, work, moving, and buying a house.
While I have been hot gluing, painting, planning and mulling over all aspects of the wedding, I realized how imperfect it would be. And how more beautiful that honestly is. Claim it as American or even being from Texas, just like the hair, the weddings keep getting bigger and bigger. (It is considered an industry for a reason) But at the end of the day, the wedding isn’t the investment, the marriage is.
As I heard the words escape my lips, I realized I wasn’t exactly living that. I was letting the wedding portion overshadow the marriage portion. Was I really investing in my relationship with Robbie? And on the flip-side, am I sharing with the excitement of a wedding with him or am I hoarding it because I’m a hoarder?
After the realization, I promise you, it feels as if a weight has been lifted. The wedding? Ehhhhhh it’ll be perfect in its imperfections because the love of my life will be making faces and cracking jokes right next to me. At the end of the day, the investment isn’t in an event or if there was a chocolate fountain (There won’t be. Bring your own chocolate). It’s finding someone out there in the world who can finish your sentences and wants to take you out of your comfort zone.
So here’s to all of you who have taken the plunge and gotten hitched. I need your patience and wisdom, but most of all I need your example. Big thanks to my mom and dad for showing what a real marriage looks like– as my dad said at my friend’s wedding, the secret to a long marriage is marrying your best friend.