Lose Yourself. Why not?


Miles of blue stretch ahead with not a cloud in sight. The afternoon breeze runs through the trees as the sun bakes my milky white skin. I close my eyes and feel my heart begin to beat wildly in my chest. So it begins.

  • There is something magical about summertime. The air smells sweeter, the sun lasts longer, and I hear the call beckoning me to jump back into training.

I turned the training leaf in January and days later with the news of my dad being killed, I recoiled. There is something about grieving and total loss of one of the men I consider truly great. I knew I shouldn’t give up on my triathlon goals for this year and should continue pressing on. I should be resilient.

Like my mom. I cannot help but be in awe every conversation I have with her. Honest about life, love, loss, and learning, she has conquered and achieved more in these last 6 months than anyone could imagine. My father wasn’t holding her back by any means. But similar to myself, I can’t help but think he was teaching his girls how to live even in his absence. Keep moving forward. I can hear him say it. Find what you want, and make it happen, Bud. Okay, Dad.

Training 2.0 has begun. My shoulders feel as if a hot poker is prodding to the bone and my calves have been replaced with cement brick. With every stride, push, pull, jump, and reconstruction of my muscle, my dad and my future are in the forefront of my mind.

As my foot pounds against the pavement and my heart echoes in my chest, I think of my plans for the future, the places I’ll go, the goals I’m checking off, and a favorite conversation I had throughout my 25 years and eleven days with him.

“But why?” I would ask.

“Why not, bud?” he would always reply.

Funneling his passion for life, I push myself and body to the brink of despair and back. The music in my ears reminds me of him.

“You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo” – Eminem Lose Yourself

Even when my heart is racing along with my body or in the stillness of the night when I just wish I would talk to my dad again, I know without a doubt my dad would tell me to go for it, no matter what IT is.

It’s time to train and lose myself this moment called life. Because why not?


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