Best Laid Schemes: Moving Day

“The best laid schemes of mice and men go oft awry.” -Robert Burns

The early morning sun streamed in through my windows. The removed curtains, once curtailing the eager sun’s effort, forced my eyelids to fend for themselves. It was moving day.

As many of you are well aware, I have this unabashed adoration for moving. A year ago, my apartment was selected within my first two hours of moving to this city. This time it would be different! With diligence and about three months, I toured the town looking for perfection and my selection turned to be beyond my wildest dreams! Much align with my life 100% of the time, I entered the moving situation naively and figured my overused statement wouldn’t become realized.

“What’s the worst that can happen?”

Don’t toy with that question; lesson learned.

  • My slew of volunteers of manly men, friends, and family dwindled down quickly on that day. I realize the idea of moving your friends is hellish and no one honestly wants to do it, but back to that childish hope of serendipity and everything working out… those best laid plans…

There would be three people. Three.

Me. My bestie here named Julianna (weighing in at maybe 100 lbs?). And her mother.

Now before you imagine the stress load of unloading furniture, a queen-sized bed, and your life with three women… add the 20lb meatloaf, commonly referred to as Zooey, my dog.  This perfect pooch became the bane of my existence with acting out, barking, whining, and turning my world into her playground.
  • It wasn’t soon after seeing Zooey going crazy that Julianna’s mom offered her house for me to drop off my dog. Zooey loves it there and gets to roll around with eleven other dogs… so naturally I thought it to be a swell plan.
Unloading my life’s weight was Julianna and me, muscling my furniture. That wee-woman is a beast! As she loaded the truck with my belongings, some of which hung over the side and were topped with glass, I couldn’t stop from asking if she was sure.
“Trust me.”
“But seriously… is that okay?”
“Emily. Trust me.”
“Ok,” I resolved.
Really. What’s the worst that can happen?
Then my phone rang.
I don’t answer unknown numbers. (That and the previous owner of my phone number’s name is Felix Garcia and surprisingly, people think I’m kidding when the female voice answers to Emily.) I listened to the voicemail, assuming Felix needed his oil changed again or something.  This wasn’t the voicemail I was expecting.
Zooey ran away.
A kind Samaritan named Rita found her and would need me to pick her up. 5 o’clock traffic would be happening soon and we had one final load to take. Oh perfect.
  • It was about this time I also realized I had moved all day and forgotten to eat anything aside from my breakfast of greek yogurt. My stomach started verbalizing the riot against me. Hunger pains always feel strongest when you recognize them.
Racing against traffic, we loaded the final haul… of which my belongings was watched with my mouth ajar as little Julianna was driving. Little girl. BIG TRUCK.
None of the glass shattered. No casualties occurred. I picked up my rugrat where she was covered in a thick brown layer of New Mexico. Returning home, defeated, beat up, with a mound of boxes to unpack immediately, and a dog to wash, I found someone special standing at my door. With food.
  • This kind individual brought me a salad and promptly made me a homemade margarita to celebrate the move. Zooey finally calmed down and was passed out in no time.
A deep breathe filled my lungs as crumbs of feta and lettuce quite literally turned me into a nicer individual and I finally smiled. The sun had set hours before… but I was home.
Even if it cost me a few grey hairs and a bath for my dog, I’m home now.
I may be cured of my ridiculous obsession of relocation for a very very long time, however.  Awry doesn’t even begin to cover it… But it was definitely an adventure! (And the place looks faaaaaabulous!)

2 thoughts on “Best Laid Schemes: Moving Day

  1. You forgot to mention that your mom and dad was ready to spring into action and grab the next flight ….. Especially when Rita called Houston with news of a lost Zooey !!!
    Yes!!!!! We also were relieved when all belongings plus the dog were safely home ….
    So very Proud of you !!! The move was handled with grace !!!!!!

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